Okay, last time I had a demo review it was on the worst kind and funny. I just got one that is more the normal stuff, but I guess it’s interesting how we react to different things that the artist think we should go off on. Of course, I have taken off the markers from who it is. They are at least trying to send in stuff so they are actually better than the majority of artists. So I’m not making fun of them I’m more humble that they actually send in music, but there are certain traps you should avoid.

Hi. My name is ***** and I would be very happy if you wanted to listen to BANDNAME. BANDNAME is a rock band with classic DIY vibes, we like to work and to do things “our way”.
*** First with style,  if they had read our social media we have been pronounced the death of this genre for a long time. And yes everything with garage rock, punk, metal, hard rock is really dying. Why just because they don’t have any new growth. Yes, many plays the styles but the old stars are hanging on and the new bands are mainly a shallow copy of the original. And after seeing their video I can just say there is nothing new about it at all.
Then the line, we like to do things “our way”. That mainly just gets me to feel that they are hard to work with. If a band like this would make it you need really big changes, but since they are doing it their way, which seems to look and sound like something from the 90:s rock scene and totally uninteresting I guess it will be hard to work with this band.

For the past 3 years, we have done over 60 gigs in Europe to collect live experience and we now feel that we are more ready than ever to take on the bigger stage.
*** Oh god this cliché is killing me. There is no bigger stage. There is no next stage. the reality is that you get to bigger things when you deserve it. And in this case, you are not ready to get to these things. You are just a mainstream DIY rock band.
60 gigs on three years! Oh my god I know artists in Nashville that do 60 gigs in a month. My normal bands that are pushing is doing around 60 gigs a year. So 60 gigs in 3 years are actually pretty low. Nothing to brag about and nothing that would get me to think it’s good live.

We would like to let our music handle our action 
*** Yes I saw the video, you are mainly busy trying to do cool rock poses.

and I have therefore sent a link to one of our newest songs that are not released yet, which means that the song is not mastred yet. 
*** This is really good though. Not released and also in a stage where you can do changes.

We are playing DATE in Stockholm and on DATE in Gothenburg, two gigs that I would like to invite you to get a feel for how BANDNAME is alive and even meet us. The personal relationship is the most important for us.
*** What happened to “our way”. Well yes, the personal relationship is very important. It’s like point out that to practice an instrument is important to be able to play.

So what is more wrong? The things I have been posting about the last days, the future! Nothing that is going on just two gigs that are like two weeks away (and in holiday times no I wouldn’t attend) and that they have an unreleased song. So should I spend time and money on someone that have two gigs and a song? No.
If they at least had written that they had 60 gigs booked in Europe the next year I would be a bit impressed. And what do they want? A record deal, a publishing deal, a management? Where are they heading, what is their plan to get to these “bigger stages” and first of all what are these stages? This is mainly just the past, get me the future.

Okey then I got this letter, I love this:

Hello,

My name is NAME and I’m from Sweden. I write a lot of music and I wonder if you are interested in listening to some of the material I have on my soundcloud page?

Let me know if you’re interested.

*** You are not doing it easy for me? So I need to shoot an email back to you to get the link. The problem is that I don’t know if I’m interested since I haven’t heard it. And why not send the link in this mail, I mean the form you are using contains a field to put a link in.

So to be on this stupidity level no you can be the next Mozart and I will not care. No, I won’t send you an email.

PERSONAL:

I’m I always this mean? Not really but it is to take candy from a five year old when they put up things to smash in all the time. Actually, my job is to present my bands in the best way and these letters over the years have taught me what to write and not write. And at the end of the day, these bands are up against people like me that knows what to write.

Still, do I need to be mean, can I just be nice to people? Sure but it wouldn’t be so much to read about. Yes for the artist it would be but nobody else.

Would it be funny to get this about yourself, yes in a way not if my name was there but the critic is interesting. That is how you learn to do it right. I don’t get so many mean comments on my blog. I guess that is because I’m pretty good to shovel them back up the ass on the person who writes if they are wrong in my opinion. Then sometimes it stands something mean but it’s correct and then I look into it. The only thing I don’t care about is people that say that I should be only nice. These are the people that grooms children to become egocentric shitheads.